Male Identity-Focused Therapy & Life Coaching

(By Dr. Daniel P. David)

Here is a guide to how you can get the most out of your therapy and life coaching experience.

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What is identity?  Identity is central to how a man sees himself.  Identity is like an internal Selfie that determines how you feel about your overall self-worth and confidence. Your identity is what distinguishes you from others and gives you a clear sense of who you are. In psychology, identity is made up of all of your qualities, beliefs, personality traits, looks and/or expressions that make you who you are as a person (self-identity) and/or as a member of a group (particular social category or social group). 

Diffuse Identity ~ The term "identity diffusion" refers to the incompletion of the developmental process of a person figuring out who they are. Guys can get stuck somewhere in their identity development. They can develop confusion about some aspect of their identity (e.g., where they fit in; who accepts them; their roles in life, and what direction their life is going, etc.). Identity confusion is a prolonged state of being unsure about your identity ~ you haven’t quite figured it out. A negative identity is where a young guy rejects some aspect of who he is. Identity diffusion, identity confusion, and a negative identity can last later into adulthood if the process of self-identity development is not completed. Having a negative self-identity can create serious depression and anxiety in men. A negative self-identity can have a major impact on your relationships, career path, job performances, and your outlook on life.

Why is Identity so important?  Your identity is core to your self-understanding and self-awareness. How you see yourself based on your self-identity will determine what choices and decisions you’ll make throughout your lifetime. When you have a healthy self-identity, you’re more likely to have a better sense of self-worth and confidence in yourself.  Achieving a healthier, more positive self-identity is a goal in your therapy and life coaching.

Are male identity and masculinity under assault? Yes, there is an underlying crisis in male identity, which is impacting men of all ages and is causing serious confusion and issues among Millennials and Generation Z men. Negative terms like “toxic masculinity,” “man-splaining,” “man-spreading,” “masculinities,” and similar terms are used to shame men and masculinity as is evident throughout social media and academia today.  In Dr. David’s therapy practice, we choose a more male-positive approach to dealing with masculinity, male identity, and male behaviors. Instead of “toxic masculinity,” we use terms like “healthy versus unhealthy” or “initiated versus uninitiated” male identity and male behaviors. We do not shame men!  Like a tree, men and masculinity have many variations (branches) that stem from their biological male sex chromosomes (the tree trunk). We honor each guy’s personal choices for how they express themselves. We are male affirming regardless of sexual orientation.

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What is the overall goal of your work through therapy?  Achieving a more positive, healthier Self-Identity that comes with self-understanding and self-mastery is the goal of your work in therapy. Not only healing past emotional wounds and traumas but also learning how to be a better person is the aim of your work on yourself in therapy. When working with Dr. David, you will experience several levels of psychotherapeutic work to foster psychological and emotional healing. Here are the levels:

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Level 1 Crisis management – the goals are 1) stabilization of the individual and 2) to address the “urgencies” in a person’s life. Level 2 Psychodynamic and psychoanalytical therapy – the tasks are to 1) explore your development history, 2) identify unconscious past emotional wounds, 3) do Shadow work through the Hero’s Journey 4) do inner child work, 5) identify your narrative, 6) raise consciousness of your underlying unconscious thought patterns, 7) connect with your emotions, 8) and foster emotional healing through several stages and techniques, Level 3 Evidence-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy “Change your thoughts, change your life” is the focus of CBT. Working with the mechanics of what you think, how you think, what you believe, and changing your habitual thought patterns into healthier ways of thinking.  Level 4 Life Coaching – learning life skills (e.g., self-care, relationships, etc.), college academic coaching, career coaching, leadership, and social coaching. Life Coaching helps to increase self-mastery. Level 5 Executive Psychological Coaching – navigating work relationships aimed at increasing your overall effectiveness in your position.